Weevil Hunting
by Aviolin
Summary: There's a difference between WEEVIL HUNTING and weevil hunting... SLASH Jack/Ianto


I don't own anything, believe me, if I would I wouldn't be on my computer

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"This is not how I planned this to end" Ianto mumbles fingers caressing his ruined suit jacket.

"Me nether" Jack growls heaving the heavy Weevil body to SUV trunk.

"And Torchwood owes me a new jacket. I'm not going to pay this one. You have no idea how much money I have spent to suits after I started field work" Ianto answers sourly.

The shoulder of his jacket is ripped and bloody where the Weevil manages to claw him, his trousers are torn from right knee which he's currently limping because of the painfully bleeding wound and the whole suit is dirty and simply beyond the miracles of dry cleaning. He can't quite get it why Weevils always have to tackle him in muddy, shady back alleys. It would be a welcomed change to be tackled on dry, clean and possibly even soft surface. Like his bed for example, that's a very nice place to be tackled. Well, not by a Weevil of course but still.

"I'm going to buy you the whole suit. Very fine, fitting suit" Jack answers shutting the trunk forcefully.

"You better. I didn't leave the Hub to get almost eaten by a Weevil"

"You didn't complain then."

"Well you had your hands on me. And you were talking dirty, promising all kind of things. I remember how you said that I could fuck your mouth but somehow I missed the part where you mentioned the Weevil trying to rip my throat" Ianto replies voice dripping sarcasm.

"Hey I didn't plan this, trust me! It was just amazingly bad luck. And we should really get back to the Hub. You're hurt" Jack says back voice softening and hand reaching to touch the bleeding shoulder.

"It's not as bad as it looks."

"But it's bad enough. You might need stitches."

"Hope not. I'm not very fond of needles" Ianto murmurs letting Jacks thumb clean dirt from his cheekbone.

"You look amazing even when you're wounded and dirty" Jack whispers moving his thumb lower, brushing it along Iantos bottom lip.

It really is quite unhygienic and disgusting because Jacks hands are bloody and full of alley way scum and Ianto wants to say that but keeps his mouth shut because it also feels really nice. This whole thing with Jack is still deliciously new and all these soft touches and gentle smiles without back thoughts catch him off guard every time. The shagging before this had been spectacular but this is even better. They go to actual dates in restaurants and movies, spend whole nights together in Iantos flat and those nights with a real bed beat the crap out of quick shags bend over the desk in Jacks office. The shagging now has emotional bond behind it giving it all a meaning, making it more than just sex. And they could've been having that mind blowing sex right now if that Weevil hadn't shown up.

"We should get going" Ianto sighs heavily.

"Yep. You can stay in the Hub tonight. You know, take a bath, relax…"

"… have sex with you. Sounds good"

Jack grins and Ianto can't help but smile back ignoring the dull throbbing pain everywhere in his body. After starting as a field agent he has became familiar with injuries. Somehow, every time he goes to a mission he seems to end up getting hurt. First cannibals almost eating him, then several monsters wanting to do the same (Jack has always said that he's eatable but this is getting way too literal for his taste), crazy former time agent waving a gun at his face (which also seems to happen way too often), once again getting tied up and beaten, this time by mad meat dealers and not to even mention all the cuts, bruises and bumps he gets everyday. These injuries he has now are worse than usual but not too bad, he'll live. The shoulder really isn't as bad as it looks but the knee is killing him. It's not deadly to have your skin peeled off there after a forced dive to asphalt but it hurts like hell.

"Well, we should get going then" Jack says leaning back and walking to open the drivers door.

"I can drive. We both know what happens when you get behind the wheel. You'll get us arrested before we get even close to the Plass"

"I'm not _that _bad."

"Yes you are. I still can't believe how police always buy your 'busy Torchwood business' excuse. Especially when you always find time to flirt with the officers" Ianto says vividly remembering this one time when the Officer had to ask Jack how important this business was since he had enough time to compliment her so much.

"Jealous Ianto?"

"Not at all" Ianto snorts climbing to the passengers seat, wincing when he has to bend his knee.

"Liar" Jack sings starting the engine.

Ianto doesn't even bother to answer. He leans forward careful not to bleed on the upholstery knowing that he would be the one who cleans this in the end. He might as well minimize the damage. Jack in the other hand doesn't seem to have the problem. He seems to be just happy that he's finally allowed to drive getting blood stains everywhere. Ianto sighs heavily. He hates cleaning up the blood from SUV. He has lost the count of how many times he had to renew the upholstery.

"I could give you a massage tonight. Your back will kill you tomorrow" Jack comments.

"Sounds nice, sir."

"Please drop the sir. It makes me feel old."

"You are old. Besides I though you like me calling you sir" Ianto purrs in response.

"Fuck Ianto. I need to have blood in my brain for driving" Jack groans.

"I admit that your cock is impressive but it's not big enough to drain all your blood. That's impossible."

"Well, you would know that."

"I do know, sir" Ianto answers using the tone he knows to drive Jack mad with desire.

"You are such a tease" Jack mumbles and is about to let go of the steering wheel to grab more important things but Ianto shakes his head.

"Hands on wheel Jack. And cool off. It would be quite suspicious if you showed up in Hub all bloody and hurt with massive hard-on. I don't know if it's just me but I think that it's not normal to be turned on by Weevil attack" Ianto says calmly not looking away from the road.

"Joy kill."

"Hey I'm bleeding here remember? Besides it's not that you can't wait few hours. I promise to make it all up to you. I rather like the idea of you on your knees just taking it" Ianto hums.

"I love being on my knees for you" Jack says with low and rough voice pushing the pedal down harder.

Ianto is delighted that he can have this effect on his boss/lover. He has to rotate his shoulder and the pain jolting from the movement successfully keeps him from moaning. It helps him to forget his growing arousal but reminds him of his need in medical area. Bandages and band aids sound good right now. And then warm bath and just taking it easy, letting Jack take care of him.

It quite surprised him in the beginning how eager Jack is to give pleasure. That man truly can make sex an art form. When he told Martha that Jacks dabbling was innovative and bordering on avant-garde he sure wasn't lying. Jack is… there are no words to describe it. Mind blowing gets pretty close but even that isn't enough. It really is that good. Every time it feels new again, with centuries of experience Jack certainly knows enough tricks to make anyone scream for more. It's an addiction.

"I can kiss your wounds better" Jack says slowly drawing the words out from his mouth.

"Mmh" Ianto answers softly.

"And then I'm going to kiss you everywhere."

"And?" Ianto asks his mouth dry, eyes widening when Jack makes a sharp turn almost crashing with a beer truck.

"Well you don't want to know since it's so suspicious if you walk into Hub with massive hard on after a Weevil attack. You made that clear. But I can tell you that it will involve a lot of tongue and I'm going to make you beg and forget that you're hurt. I'm actually sure that I can make you forget your own name too. I have few Trick up in my sleeve that I want to try with you."

"I think that it's best that you stop right now and shut up, sir" Ianto says with cold professionalism, but failing to hide the small tremor in his voice.

Jack chuckles and Ianto rolls his eyes. It's not healthy to think about sex around the clock but when he's with Jack he rarely has no options. Having sex on every possible surface in Hub had sounded exciting and amazing idea at the time but now he's starting to see the down sides of it. Everywhere he goes he sees places where Jack made him come. He's pretty sure that he can never ever lean against the kitchen counter without getting hard.

"So… your bath. Want bubbles?" Jack asks with gleaming eyes, breaking the silence as expected.

"Sorry to say sir, but I have numerous open wound and I don't think I want soap in them. Hot water is enough" Ianto answers deciding not to mention the last time Jack did a bubble bath (well better bubble bathroom, Ianto still doesn't know how Jack managed to even make so much bubbles).

"Spoilsport."

"Thank you" Ianto answers grimacing when the car turns violently, tires screeching.

"Does it hurt?" Jack asks sounding worried.

"Yep. I think the shock is fading now. You could drive gentler" Ianto answers biting his lip.

"Okay. We're there soon. Owen can dose you up to the drug heaven. Morphine maybe? You know how much I love you when you're a bit high. It loosens you up and that makes you loud."

"And here we are. Subject is sex again. You're good at this sir."

"You can't blame me, seriously. I planned taking you out and shagging you senseless and I didn't get it. You expect me to think rationally when I'm horny?"

"Guess that's too much to ask for" Ianto sighs.

"Smart boy."

"Just… look at the road, okay?"

"Okay."

Ianto takes a deep breath. At least that doesn't hurt so no cracked ribs, just usual bruising on the surface. Bruises he can handle, he is pretty used to them especially when he seems to have permanent bruises on his hips from Jacks grip. Bleeding has stopped too which is always great. No stitches needed probably which is also excellent. Jack actually does drive more carefully trying to avoid sudden turns and bumps on road. They still get to the Hub sooner than usual and Jack is gentleman enough to come and open his door for him.

"Lets get you to Owen so I can come back to drag this spoilsport here to vaults" Jack says tapping the trunk where the Weevil is securely bound.

"I can go to Owen by myself too."

"I know but I want to escort you there. Just to be sure."

"Fine" Ianto sighs.

Actually, as he soon finds out, Jack being there is useful. Straightening his leg after sitting in the SUV turns out to hurt like a bitch because of dried blood on wound. Jack sighs half carrying Ianto to medical bay where Owen is merely playing with his super expensive medical equipment while Gwen is watching. They both look up with identical guilty expressions when Jack clears his throat.

"Oh god! What happened? Ianto, are you alright?" she shrieks immediately when he sees Ianto.

"Yep. We accidentally met a Weevil. It's in the trunk" he answers gritting his teeth, feeling how his knee starts to bleed again.

"Well wasn't that the point? To meet Weevils when you go Weevil hunting?" she asks puzzled look on her face.

"We were going to _Weevil hunting_. Learn the difference" Ianto answers sharply because Owen just had to poke his knee from unknown and definitely not from medical reasons.

"So you go _Weevil hunting _and end up to actual Weevil hunting. Do I even have to point out the irony?" Owen grins examining the knee carefully (needs cleaning and band-aid but it's just a surface damage).

"No" Jack and Ianto say at the same time.

"You guys really have a bad luck, eh?" Owen continues almost cheerfully grabbing his latex gloves, bottle of antiseptic liquid which would sting a lot, cotton balls and waves Ianto to sit down.

"Just shut up Owen" Jack says sternly.

"Okay, just commenting" Owen mumbles.

"Just take good care of him. I'm going to go and put our new friend to vaults and then I'm going to prepare few things down in my room and when I return I expect to find Ianto patched up, satisfied and high on painkillers. Morphine, if possible" Jack tells.

"Yes sir!" Owen answers.

"Oh Lord" Ianto whispers but apparently he has no power over this and not that he's complaining, morphine does sound good.

"So this won't take long. I'm just going to clean your wounds, stitch them if they need stitching and I don't think they do and give you something to kill the pain. We don't want Jack to hear you moaning from wrong reasons, do we?" Owen muses.

"No" Ianto answers dryly.

"Then lets get this started. You still have some _Weevil hunting _to do."


End file.
